Here’s some quick advice that may be of benefit to you right now:
- Listen. The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
- Stay Calm. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you, too.
- Talk about it – not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress.
- Gather all the facts. Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.
- Express yourself honestly – it’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.
- Don’t bail. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
- Don’t pressure her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You will do well to work together as a team.
- Don’t forget. You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as sharing your thoughts.
Clear your mind and listen to what she is saying. Try to understand her feelings. Gather information about the options available to her. Talk to family and friends you trust for support. We are here for you to provide caring and respectful help for you and your partner free of charge.
The first thing you need to do is find out that she is really pregnant and learn about your options. N’Lite Women’s Clinic provides pregnancy testing services, along with many support services, that are free of charge and confidential as allowed by Oregon state regulations. We are here to help both of you come to an informed decision. To help show your support, go with her for the pregnancy test appointment. If she truly is pregnant, then she is already being overwhelmed by hormone changes that can have a great effect on her. Having your support will reassure her that you care.
N’Lite Women’s Clinic can help you in a variety of ways should she actually be pregnant. We offer referrals to helpful organizations. You won’t be alone in supporting her through this pregnancy.
Remember the decision is ultimately hers to make. You should be able to express your opinion, but you should never force her into a decision.
Men, now is the time to stand up and take part in your pregnant partner’s life. She needs to know that you care and you are ready to walk through this with her.